But, don't look so depressed! The typical proverb "Publish or Perish" is turned around with John M. Moxley's 1992 book PUBLISH, Don't Perish. Recognizing that to play the academic game, we all will need to publish, Moxley, a professor of English and composition, wrote a compact and accessible book about all facets of academic writing, from overcoming agraphia (though he doesn't use the term), to developing/planning scholarly projects, drafting, writing, revising, and marketing your ideas. In addition, he provides some basic guidelines for the differences between various academic genres such as quantitative and qualitative work, book reviews and grant writing.
Although the books is a little dated in its technical approach (using snail mail and basic computer use), the foundations of his advice is spot-on. In addition, since it is an older title, you can access the full text here: ScholarPublish. Moxley also provides good resources and additional readings.